Good Byes suck

It is hard to say good bye. I hate it, it always drags me into a hole, so when I can, I run from it. I just leave, thinking of people whom I love and who impress me.

Today I drove my sister to the train station. She is going for a qualifying exam to Kiel – she wants to study communication design and has worked and sacrificed a lot in order to be able to go there today. It is her life dream to get into that study program. She wants it so much that when she does not get in this time, she will try again in fall. I never had to fight that much for a thing I wanted. The difference is that I always did things I knew I somehow was good at in order not to have to face the critics. And sometimes I really screwed up, because what I thought was not true – even for me there were a lot of challenges hidden. If I lived my life with half the enthusiasm as my sister, I would be daredevil Nr. 1 climbing Mount Everest. Instead I will go on a one month holiday and the thing I am looking most forward to are the food, the coconuts and the trains. I prepared a lot for the trip I am going to have with my best friend. I will not climb Mount Everest, but for me it’s a big adventure.

So the good byes: Today I had to say good bye to my sister. Ever since she gave me a last kiss on the cheek I have been down and not able to move. I was stuck in this freaking sadness and tried to numb it, but even movies have a time limit. Soon, I will have to part with my mum and then I will return to the everlasting struggle in Denmark. I will celebrate my birthday without my family; going from one place to the other, because by the end of June I have to be out of my old room. Today it hurts, even though I am going to be super extra über excited when I hug my friends, who are in this country. It’s just not very easy to keep your family close when you live the life of a foreigner. I still have to learn that, even after 9 years of practice.

Some good things from my time at home:
On sunday we celebrated my not-birthday, as our family cannot meet, when it's actually happening. There was cake, and the Husiten Festspiele (some city festival) in Bernau. Here my sister and I on the gigant chairs.