Freitag, 17. September 2010

And it goes up again!

So there are days where I get all dramatic and cry out: “Oh evil world, I despise you and your trials!“ (see below) and then there are the other days, where I am working hard to get settled and make a good living, where I get excited about mails from friends, the beautiful agenda I made myself, or the trips to Berlin.

So yesterday I had such a trip. I was all excited, as I had my first job interview with a real company. It was really interesting to see how my preparations the day before helped and how I somehow did not need it at all. So even though I was quite nervous and didn’t do the awesomest job at selling myself, the boss liked me and offered me a 6 month traineeship at his company. The thing with me is that I have studied languages, but that I have developed a passion for branding and PR through the activities next to my studies. So now I want to work with that and not too much with my education background. I like that I dare to go that way and not the safe path and I like the whole development and self discovery part of it. And the company offers me a really interesting project to try out and expand my knowledge.

So of course, there is a dark side: these 6 months will be poorly paid and below what I need to survive in Berlin. It’s like that in Germany. Interns should be happy if they get paid at all. So the problem is: Should I continue to live with my mum and then do a job I would really like to try out, or should I find something else, maybe less attractive and earn more money?

What is great about these problems is that they trigger decisions and they are also a sign that things are moving. I am out of the blind way, I think I have never been stuck in it, but I was too impatient to arrive. It’s like traveling with an Indian train – eventually you will arrive - that is guaranteed, the rest is up to the gods.

Montag, 13. September 2010

The Hole


It’s half past three in the afternoon, I just made myself a cup of tea and a plate with fruit and cookies. Sounds nice? It’s not! I am caught in this loneliness, producing self made agendas, spending my weekends with my mother and most of all feeling sorry for myself.

It’s now been 23 days back home and I am turning desperate. I feel like stuck in a time hole, while everybody, really EVERYBODY, seems to move on. There are days, where I cannot start hyper motivated at 9:00 am to apply for jobs, taking care of all the small things of my small life and then doing something pretty at 14:00 – waiting for my mom to come home, so I have someone to talk to.  I’ve watched all my movies, sometimes twice, sometime trice.

So my day today started with checking my mail – no news. I checked FB, ok I got news, but they fed me for half an hour. I still got stuck for too long, looking at wedding pictures of people I barely know. And I found out that even the evil ex boyfriend has moved on. He, really an evil super baddy, has a girlfriend. What!?

This is the hole. The hole has greasy hair and no shampoo. The hole starts to smell under its armpits. The hole has food from yesterday for lunch. The hole does not have a nail file. The hole has slow internet, no TV, and only a limited amount of radio stations.

So I went to take a shower, made some tea and served myself some fruit and cookies. Breathe in, breathe out. 

Picture: Solid-Caine-Stock "Hole" nohaycomolodeuno.blogspot.com/2009/02/hole.html

Donnerstag, 2. September 2010

Don't look back in anger

I am currently spending most of my time in my mum’s little house on the country side outside of Berlin. Sometimes I take the bike out to buy some butter, or go and scan something in the village copy shop. The highlights of my daily life are the trips to Berlin, where I mostly go to look at apartments.

What I spend my time on is the great activity of applying for jobs. I feared just to get started not knowing what even to put on my CV, or what to look for. I had to do it anyway, there was no way to procrastinate, as the internet is so slow that youtube is no fun, and yea, besides going to the bakery there is not much more to do here.

I made a CV that I liked and started looking for jobs. I started to stumble upon jobs and internships I really would like to do, so I started applying with passion. I just got started, so frustration is not too big, yet (not too many rejections).

I realized something today: What would I have done one year ago? Would I have had the same confidence to go job hunting? Would I have been able to capture my experience and put them on paper? I started to see how much I have developed the last year, how each success and each failure made me stronger and more capable for the situation I am in now.

So, as a side effect I miss my team. You can’t imagine how much we had to work and how much sweat and tears we invested into our projects – but you can also not imagine how much fun we had together and how close we knew each other by the end of the year. I watched the good bye video this morning, and I smiled. It’ll all go the way it’s supposed to go. Man! I have just returned from India where I visited some of my dearest friends. Nothing can go wrong.