Becoming who you are

You know, I started this blog out of some reflex that hit me when I was beginning to think a lot about the sense of my current affairs and thoughts. I'm not a person who puts everything in her blog in order to spam the world with gimmicks she found on her internet journeys and therefore I write down my thoughts here once in a while, without trying to create a great piece of art.
Some habits can be dangerous and a blog can help you to stay awake and make conscious decisions, because you have the chance to reflect and get input from others at the same time. I caught myself in following a flow of actions and events just dropping into new tasks and roles, because they seemed interesting for a couple of minutes and then I suddenly wake up, look around me and wonder where I am heading. My original goal seems quite far away sometimes, so I take the time now to create my life consciously. The more I look around me and started the process of looking behind habits, I feel a huge urge for some kind of philosophy book, which introduces me into the basic patterns of human reasoning. At the same time I began to define what I support around me and which actions I want to stay out of. And somehow I became more happy. I know what to fight for, what to be passionate about and this gives me a sense of safety I have been looking for.
Part of my self-defining process included the question if my involvement in AIESEC is something that helps me achieving the goals I have and to become the person that I want to be. I have realized that the organization needs people like me, because we look out for the right direction and question habits. There will always be people who think certain actions are ok, that the goal should justify the means, and if everyone just nods, we lose track. AIESEC is a great way to discover what you are good at, and where not and also to find out, where you want to go. And no, I do not want to work with some brainless big shot company. Never ever, but I want to learn how to organize myself and others, to achieve a different goal than profit. And yes, AIESEC is the right place to be for me right now. I consider to apply for the Ethics subcommittee, maybe I can contribute a bit there.
I do not know if it is summer or just me, but I am less afraid, more open and see more positive things around, which I would generally see as quite positive. It's good to feel alive.