The Hole

It’s half past three in the afternoon, I just made myself a cup of tea and a plate with fruit and cookies. Sounds nice? It’s not! I am caught in this loneliness, producing self made agendas, spending my weekends with my mother and most of all feeling sorry for myself.

It’s now been 23 days back home and I am turning desperate. I feel like stuck in a time hole, while everybody, really EVERYBODY, seems to move on. There are days, where I cannot start hyper motivated at 9:00 am to apply for jobs, taking care of all the small things of my small life and then doing something pretty at 14:00 – waiting for my mom to come home, so I have someone to talk to.  I’ve watched all my movies, sometimes twice, sometime trice.

So my day today started with checking my mail – no news. I checked FB, ok I got news, but they fed me for half an hour. I still got stuck for too long, looking at wedding pictures of people I barely know. And I found out that even the evil ex boyfriend has moved on. He, really an evil super baddy, has a girlfriend. What!?

This is the hole. The hole has greasy hair and no shampoo. The hole starts to smell under its armpits. The hole has food from yesterday for lunch. The hole does not have a nail file. The hole has slow internet, no TV, and only a limited amount of radio stations.

So I went to take a shower, made some tea and served myself some fruit and cookies. Breathe in, breathe out. 

Picture: Solid-Caine-Stock "Hole" nohaycomolodeuno.blogspot.com/2009/02/hole.html